article: weekend spark - may14th -I didn't want a green box | written down

I think what you have in your home depends on what stage in your life you are at. There are things in my house that I wouldn’t have imagined having 20 years ago like a computer or a dishwasher. I went with the most recent thing. A memory box for my husband. Never seriously crossed my mind that we would ever be parted, I suppose.
Watercolour paper with green glazes. There is a faint stamp of the earth behind some clouds. Everything is in shades of green. Distressed photos of the box and contents. Short list of a few of the things in there.
I’m never sure whether it is appropriate to share journalling but I am so nosey that I try to read everybody else’s when I can and feel cheated when I can’t. LOL. So I thought it only fair to write out mine.
Sorry for the wonky scan.

Journalling is long-winded again.

This journal is such a learning experience. This is the first time I have analyzed my feelings about ‘Dad’s Box’. It’d arrival was not my finest hour. Although I said all the right things, inside I was resentful.
A friend brought the colapsible box and green shiny paper. A friend whose little boy had died 3 years earlier. She and her daughter collected my daughter and took her away from the grief for a few hours, building and decorating the box.
I resented the box. I wanted to make this object to store little memories. In fact I had already bought a little wooden box for this purpose. I resented the shiny green paper. I would have used paint. I resented the decoration. I would have used different ones. But it gave my daughter pleasure to make it. It gave her something to focus her grief on and she was proud of her achievement. It was a box created out of love. A love of a girl for her Dad and the love of friends who tried to help us through the grief they knew so well.
I’ve grown to like the green box. It holds all the little things that I am still finding. Scraps of paper that Dave scribbled notes on or the endless lists of ‘things to do’ that he wrote to himself.

Filed under: