May 14, 03:36 pm
risking living at my full potential
Here’s the first page I did about risk. Man, this is a topic I could probably fill an entire book about! I’ve been trying to just play and not worry about whether I can “see” the finished result in my head first (usually very easy for me, and usually a prerequisite for starting anything!). I’m not so sure about this one—really turned out differently than I expected, but since this is all about play, I’m just trying to stay open to whatever the results may be. :-)
The process was simple: 1.) gesso page 2.) watercolor base mixing green and ochre 3.) print out journaling on daily planner page and quote on plain white paper 4.) glue those pieces to page using gel medium 5.) stamp fleur de lis patterns over everything using copper paint that’s been thinned down to try to make it more transparent 6.) add adhesive letters spelling RISK 7.) using a make-up sponge, sponge ochre watercolor over the whole thing.
It’s hard to read the journaling from the scan, but here’s what it says:
This notion of risk taking has been rumbling around in my head all week. There have been several big risks I’ve taken in my life – all of which I am proud of – for even if the end results have been painful, what I’ve learned in the process of each has been monumental: The risk of choosing my own mental health over continuing to play a role in my family’s dysfunction; The risk of joining a start-up company because I wanted my career to be about being a part of building something instead of just collecting a paycheck; The risk of ending relationships that have been toxic, and yet still being open to new ones, and willing to try my best to love others unconditionally.
All risks I’ve taken. All risks I’m proud of.
But the one risk that looms above all others as THE most intriguing (scary!) to me, is the risk of living up to my full potential.
My life is so busy. I work long hours. I care for a home and my three beloved dogs, and try to make time for my friends and family and love. There are so many days when I do just enough to get the job done, because there are so many jobs to do. There are so many days when I don’t take the time or make the effort for friends and family that I want to.
So what would happen if I made some different choices? Risked the wrath of others by saying no to commitments that really don’t interest me? What if I didn’t waste so much time during the day and really applied myself? To my work. To my relationships. To my homecaring. To my creativity.
That is the next risk I am committed to taking. Being fully present. Taking the time to give my all to whomever or whatever I am doing. That is what I want my life to be about. That is what I want to leave as my legacy.
{The quote on the page is from Anais Nin, and says, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.”}
Filed under:
